


cogito ergo sum

by northerndavvn



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: IF YOU ARENT COMFORTABLE WITH INTERACTING WITH A CORPSE THEN SKIP IT, Multi, Trans Character, Trans Female Character, ZOMBIE AU AND OFF-SCREEN CHARACTER DEATH ARE IN CHAPTER 4, also implied underage drinking i guess, also mattsun being kind of skeevy just fyi, does that even need to be tagged, genderswapped noya in chap 6, he strikes me as a skeevy sort of dude, hello im mal please enjoy my minor characters and unpopular pairings, one-sided sarukomi and one-sided bokuaka and vague one-sided akakomi, so long komiyan, the first three chapters are tanahina, third year ot3 in chap 5 ofc, transgirl asahi as always, underage smoking in chap 7???
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-10-25
Updated: 2014-11-01
Packaged: 2018-02-22 12:18:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 1,803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2507522
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/northerndavvn/pseuds/northerndavvn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I think, therefore I am.</p><p>a dumping ground for my rarepair drabbles.</p><p>latest: "He loved his childhood friend, he really did, but some things were unforgivable- and not loving Akaashi was one of them."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. good food and friends.

**Author's Note:**

> hello welcome to my descent into rarepair hell
> 
> these first few things will be the doodles i did for tanahina week

The only thing Tanaka can think of when he looks at Hinata is an overfed hamster.

The younger boy’s cheeks are stuffed full, over-extended with how quickly he’d been working to devour his pork bun, doe-eyed and eager to please. He smiles, all teeth and half-chewed food, and it is probably one of the more disgusting things Tanaka’s seen that day.

It was kind of adorable.

 _Shit,_  he thinks.  _Shit shit shit._

It’s completely  _unfair._

"Tanaka-senpai?" Hinata asks, except it comes out a lot more slurred and quite a bit messier, and Tanaka shakes himself before laughing and patting Hinata’s back as the boy coughs.

"Didn’t anyone ever tell you not to eat with your mouth full, kid?"

Oh, he was in  _deep._


	2. when it rains, it pours.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tanahina week: day 2  
> rain
> 
> I HAVE A LOT OF FUN IMAGINING SAEKO BABYING HINATA AND RYUU IN THE BACKGROUND LIKE "PLEASE STOP CUDDLING MY BOYFRIEND YOU'LL SUFFOCATE HIM WITH YOUR BOOBS"

Hinata was pretty sure he was drowning.

He’d always hated the rain, really, but as he sat here chilled to the bone, his sodden hair pushed back from his face, he had a certain appreciation for it. He was cold and wet and generally miserable, but-

"Here, wear these. I’ve got your clothes in the dryer; give it about an hour or so, then I’ll drive you home."

There’s a mischievous smile on Saeko’s face that contrasts sharply with her kind words, warm brown eyes crinkled at the corners. In her hands is a folded t-shirt and sweatpants, far too big for Hinata himself. He takes them from her anyway.  
  
"They’re Ryu’s, sorry," she says as she points him towards the bathroom, not sounding apologetic at all. "We didn’t really have anything else, and I figured that he wouldn’t mind. You can change down there."

Hinata hated the rain, but the look on Tanaka’s face when he saw him in his clothes made him like it jsut a bit more.


	3. stranger on the street.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tanahina week: day 3  
> distance
> 
> i had no idea what au to do so i did one where they never met in highschool and hinata is a premed student with a yippy little dog and tanaka is a mechanic who's pretty pathetic in relationships

The first time they meet, it is two in the morning and Tanaka nearly passes out.

He’d just broken up with his girlfriend- or, rather, she’d broken up with him, a move that everyone but him could see coming from miles away- and, as always, his chosen method of coping was to drink until his eyes crossed.

Hinata, for some ungodly reason, had been walking his dog, a yippy little thing that had pissed on Tanaka’s shoe as he stumbled down the sidewalk. Hinata had been apologetic, almost painfully so, his big brown eyes blown wide and his cherubic face creased in distress.

Tanaka couldn’t bring himself to be too irritated, especially since Hinata had offered to call a cab for him and didn’t push him to the cement when he fell asleep on his shoulder.

The next morning he wakes up in his own bed, gross and grimy with a shoe that smells like dog piss, and a number scrawled messily across his palm in smudged ink.


	4. retrograde

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so um. im really into the fukurodanis and my friend rai (crankthathoot on tumblr) and i came up with this zombie au,,,,,, so long sarukui

"It looks like he’s sleeping."

The words fall numbly from Komi’s mouth, whisper-quiet, clouding the chilly air. Bokuto is there, his hand firm on Komi’s shoulder, keeping him grounded, though it doesn’t doe much good. Already, the smaller boy feels a million miles away, like he’s watching someone else live this.

Sarukui’s eyes are closed, grey-tinged lips parted slightly in death. The body is fresh, free of rot and evidently uninfected, but that’s not much comfort when Komi reaches for his hand, only to find it cold and stiff and unresponsive.

"Saru-yan," he almost pleads, gripping tightly at the appendage. He’s kneeling on the ground, gravel digging into the threadbare knees of his jeans, but the sting is easy to ignore. He can feel a scream building in the back of his throat. "Y-Yamato, please. Please wake up."

And, oh, if that doesn’t break Bokuto’s heart to hear. “Ruki-“

"Don’t."

Komi doesn’t look away from Sarukui’s face, voice cracking in the middle of the word. His shoulders are hunched and his head is bowed, making him seems smaller than he already was, but he wasn’t broken. Not yet.

"Haruki." Bokuto’s voice is gentler this time, the hand on Komi’s shoulder offering a reassuring squeeze. He knows well enough that no one could ever really make Komi do something he didn’t want to, and this is no different.

"I never got to tell him, you know," Komi cuts in. His voice is soft, but there’s a bitterness to it, like a wound. "How I felt. Not like with you and Akaashi-san. He… he never knew. Not really."

There wasn’t much that could be said to that.

At least, with Akaashi, they had gotten to say goodbye.

Komi clutches at Sarukui’s hand like a lifeline, his face unsettlingly neutral even as his eyes are glassy with unshed tears. He leans in, brushes a kiss against the corpse’s forehead, and if Bokuto hears a sniffle, well. He doesn’t mention it.

"C’mon, Haruki," the former captain coaxes, pulling the smaller boy to his feet. "We have to keep moving."

Komi follows Bokuto’s lead easily enough, but he can’t seem to look away from the body. The taller tugs on him again, but is waved away with a shaking hand.

"One second," Komi says, kneeling back down, fishing through Sarukui’s left pocked; he would have done the same to the right, had it not been soaked through with now-dry blood. He pulls out a crumpled photograph, briefly touches the corpse’s cold cheek, before rising on wobbling legs.

"Alright." His voice is flat, eyes cast downward as he tucks the photo into his bag. "Let’s go."


	5. give me a kiss (and never stop)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IM DAISUGASAHI TRA S H
> 
> also if you know anythign about me at all its that my asahi is always dmab transfeminine

"Happy New Year, Asahi."

It was Daichi that kissed her first, sandwiched as she was between them on the couch in Suga’s living room,  his hand rough and warm against the curve of her neck, pulling her towards him. He was gentle, surprisingly so; Asahi had rather gotten used to his rough treatment, even if he didn’t mean it maliciously. His fingers pressed into the curve of her jaw and his kiss was chaste and brief, and she could taste the tepid beer they’d dug up to celebrate on his lips.

She only stares at him when he retreats, her eyes wide and mouth ajar, but he smiles at her, warmly, eyes crinkling at the corners with the force of it. It’s a smile she’d rarely ever seen aimed at her.

"Happy birthday, Asahi!"

And then Koushi is tugging her close, one arm snaked around her ribs. He smiles into the against her mouth and there’s something different, some deeper heat in his kiss than in Daichi’s. He swipes his tongue along the seam of Asahi’s lips and she makes a startled sound, would have drawn away had Daichi not settled his chin on her shoulder, effectively trapping her. Suga peppers three more kisses against the corner of her mouth, her jaw, her cheek, before finally backing off, looking entirely too pleased and yet somehow  _still_ mild-mannered.

There’s a beat of silence, one where the three of them just stare at each other, waiting for someone, something to break the quiet. Asahi decides that she has to be the one to do so.

“…You know that was my first kiss, right?”

Koushi’s soft laughter and Daichi’s indignant noises make it worth it.


	6. nuance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fem!noya/transgirl!asahi mmmmm

Yuu was so much smaller than she that sometimes Asahi felt as if she might break her.

She was always careful with her touches, a hand resting lightly against the swell of Noya’s hip, or an arm wrapped gently around the curve of her shoulders. It was just… she was so  _tiny,_ and Asahi was so big, and the difference in size between them never failed to make Asahi anxious.

What if she got hurt? Asahi wouldn’t be able to live with herself if something happened to Noya. it would be an accident, of course, but still her fault, and Noya would be hurt because of her, and, oh, god…

Evidently her thoughts would show on her face and Yuu would notice because Yuu noticed  _everything,_ always. It would start with a soft touch- to the inside of Asahi’s wrist, her her ribs, her cheek- and then Yuu would stretch up to press a kiss to the scruff on Asahi’s chin, her smile warm and eyes bright.

"You’re thinking too much, Asahi-san. You’re gonna burn yourself out."


	7. to hoard

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [mattsun is a delinquent](http://matsukawass.tumblr.com/post/100948966589)

His kouhai really was kind of cute.

Kindaichi-kun blushed and sputtered and so, so hard to impress those around him, those above him, and it... It wasn't  _endearing,_ per se, not to Matsukawa, but it stirred a sort of possessiveness, a want to keep and protect and hoard. It made him want to see Kindaichi's cheeks flushed red like that more often, his hair mussed out of that ridiculous style, maybe- no.

Issei huffs, exhaling smoke and grinding out his cigarette on the pavement before slinging his arm around the younger boy in question, prompting a surprised sound that made him smile.

"Anyone want pork buns? Noodles?" he entreats to the rest of the team, taking some sort of pleasure as Kindaichi relaxes under his arm, against his side, hunched over to accommodate him. "Treat's on Hanger-kun!"

Kindaichi laughs along with the rest of them as Oikawa whines out a protest before Iwaizumi slugs him over the head, saying something that Matsukawa doesn't catch. He glancing at Yuutaro from the corner of his eye, a smile playing over his lips as the other middle blocker's graze catches his, almost shyly. 

"You owe me," he says, just quiet enough for the younger to hear, and Kindaichi's cheeks flame, because he _knows_ what that means, but nods nonetheless, flashing a hesitant smile in reply.

Yuutaro wasn't cute, no, but he was  _his._


	8. veni vidi vici

He respected Akaashi, in his own way.

Many thought that was impossible- Komi was wild and uncontrollable; respect was a foreign concept to him, let alone any sense of obedience. But he  _did._ He respected Akaashi enough to listen to him, though the the setter was younger. He even looked up to him, of a sort.

Akaashi was there to wipe his tears after being rejected by Sarukui, for he knew the woes of unrequited love well. Akaashi was there when he broke his ankle and left the team with a reserve libero, visiting every day like Bokuto couldn't, bringing homework and short, if not fond, stories of the team's antics that day. (If he smiled a little more when he spoke of Bokuto, well. Komi didn't mention it. He loved his childhood friend, he really did, but some things were unforgiveable- and not loving Akaashi was one of them.)

Komi respected Akaashi. Komi  _liked_ Akaashi. The younger boy saw him as something more than a whirlwind, a force of nature- saw him as a person, saw his insecurities and his fears and his heartbreak. Calloused thumbs stroked over his cheeks, wiping away salty tears, and Komi can feel himself falling all over again. It's not only Sarukui he cries for, this time.


End file.
